CHILLIWACK, BC - A horrible time of uncertainty finally ended for a well known Chilliwack man today as two of his most prized creatures succumbed to his deadly will. The man, whose name is being withheld pending further questioning by family and friends, claims to have been 'skunked' on numerous occasions so far this season. In harsh reaction to this phenomenon, the man has brutally murdered two female Oncorhynchus kisutch as soon as he was able to entice them with what appears to be unborn Oncorhynchus offspring. It seems the man, who has often been seen operating a 'leaf craft', has disappeared from the official Fishing with Rod website. Some claim his domicile is being literally torn apart in an effort to improve the comfort of this shelter often used by him, and therefore he is unable to 'log in'. However, there was a witness to the events that transpired today. A lesser known entity that goes by the name 'Buckeye' claims to have visual proof of the atrocity committed today on the Vedder River.
The evidence presented by him is as follows:
** WARNING! **In this image we see unborn Oncorhynchus offspring retrieved from the bodies of the dead, similar to those used to entice the innocent victims.
In this picture on the left one can see the decapitated and brutally disfigured body of the larger victim, a 7½ pound female.
On the right inside a stainless steel container we see the remains of another female, about 5 pounds.
The severed heads of both victims are also visible on the right.
An image was captured of our hero together with his prey, confirming suspicions of what occurred in the early morning hours of October 15th.
If anyone has any further information or comments please provide details below.
Fishing with Rod ...you heard it here first!